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Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.
Deborah Tannen
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Cooperation involves handling conflicts rather than avoiding them.

This quote emphasizes that cooperation does not mean the elimination of conflict; rather, it is about how we manage and navigate disagreements. Effective cooperation acknowledges the existence of conflict and uses it as a pathway to reach understanding and resolution, leading to more productive outcomes in relationships and teamwork.

Themes

CooperationConflictManagementRelationshipsTeamwork

In practice

Example use cases

This quote can be used in a team meeting to underline the importance of addressing conflicts for better collaboration.

More from Deborah Tannen

Women as mothers grapple with corresponding contradictions. The adoration they feel for their grown daughters, mixed with the sense of responsibility for their well-being, can be overwhelming, matched only by the hurt they feel when their attempts to help or just stay connected are rebuffed or even excoriated as criticism or devilish interference.
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Sister relationships span a huge range, from best friends to worst enemies. From 'I adore her; I talk to her five times a day' to 'I decided to cut her out of my life.' For most women, it's in between.
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The trickiest thing about the double bind is that it operates imperceptibly, like shots from a gun with a silencer.
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For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.
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Mothers and daughters find in each other the source of great comfort but also of great pain. We talk to each other in better and worse ways than we talk to anyone else.
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Our spirits are corroded by living in an atmosphere of unrelenting contention - an argument culture.
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