Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Effective communication is essential for our needs to be met in relationships.
This quote emphasizes the importance of clearly expressing our needs in order to have them fulfilled. It suggests that often, people fail to communicate their true needs, instead expressing judgments or unclear requests, which hinders meaningful exchanges and satisfaction in relationships.
Themes
CommunicationNeedsRelationshipsExpressionRequests
In practice
Example use cases
During a team meeting, one could reference this quote to stress the importance of clarifying team needs and expectations.
More from Marshall B. Rosenberg
All quotes βWhether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
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