The widely held belief that the heterosexual nuclear family is best for children has long been used as a smoke screen for homophobia and as a talking point to quash marriage-equality efforts.
Interpretation
The belief in the heterosexual nuclear family as ideal for children often hides prejudices against LGBTQ+ families and is used to oppose marriage equality.
This quote highlights the contentious debate surrounding family structures and their perceived impact on children. Jessica Valenti argues that the preference for the traditional heterosexual nuclear family is frequently used to disguise biases against LGBTQ+ families, serving not only as a justification for homophobia but also as a rhetorical device to undermine efforts towards marriage equality. It challenges societal norms and invites a reevaluation of the definition of family and its role in child-rearing.
In practice
During a lecture on family structures, a speaker might reference this quote to emphasize the need for inclusivity in discussions about marriage equality.
Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather than your own script. It means that your self-worth will always be tied to what someone else thinks about you, forever out of your control.
It's not always easy being a full-time feminist - especially as a young woman - when you're constantly being told that what you do is irrelevant. I'm on the defense all the time.
Now, should we treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? Of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them.
Sex for pleasure, for fun, or even for building relationships is completely absent from our national conversation. Yet taking the joy out of sexuality is a surefire way to ensure not that young women won't have sex, but rather that they'll have it without pleasure.
When women's sexuality is imagined to be passive or "dirty," it also means that men's sexuality is automatically positioned as aggressive and right-no matter what form it takes. And when one of the conditions of masculinity, a concept that is already so fragile in men's minds, is that men dissociate from women and prove their manliness through aggression, we're encouraging a culture of violence and sexuality that's detrimental to both men and women.
Present-day American society-whether through pop culture, religion, or institutions-conflates sexuality and morality constantly. Idolizing virginity as a stand-in for women’s morality means that nothing else matters-not what we accomplish, not what we think, not what we care about and work for. Just if/how/whom we have sex with. That’s all.
If we want our daughters to honor their bodies, they need to hear us honor ours, no matter what size or shape we are, no matter what scars or sags we see in that mirror.
What does open us is sharing our vulnerabilities. Sometimes we see a couple who has done this difficult work over a lifetime. In the process, they have grown old together. We can sense the enormous comfort, the shared quality of ease between these people. It is beautiful, and very rare. Without this quality of openness and vulnerability, partners don't really know each other; they are one image living with another image.
Look to be treated by others as you have treated others.
Women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.
The UK is an extraordinary partner for America and a force for good in an unstable world. I hope it remains strong, robust and united.
Forgiveness flounders because I exclude the enemy from the community of humans and myself from the community of sinners.
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