Now, should we treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? Of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them.
Interpretation
The quote emphasizes that women's actions do not cause rape; rather, the responsibility lies solely with the perpetrator.
In this quote, Jessica Valenti highlights the critical issue of victim-blaming in cases of sexual assault. She asserts that regardless of a woman's choices, such as consuming alcohol or drugs, these factors do not justify or cause rape. The quote calls for a shift in perspective, recognizing that the responsibility for sexual violence rests entirely on the aggressor, not the victim.
In practice
This quote can be used during discussions about sexual assault awareness events.
Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather than your own script. It means that your self-worth will always be tied to what someone else thinks about you, forever out of your control.
It's not always easy being a full-time feminist - especially as a young woman - when you're constantly being told that what you do is irrelevant. I'm on the defense all the time.
Sex for pleasure, for fun, or even for building relationships is completely absent from our national conversation. Yet taking the joy out of sexuality is a surefire way to ensure not that young women won't have sex, but rather that they'll have it without pleasure.
When women's sexuality is imagined to be passive or "dirty," it also means that men's sexuality is automatically positioned as aggressive and right-no matter what form it takes. And when one of the conditions of masculinity, a concept that is already so fragile in men's minds, is that men dissociate from women and prove their manliness through aggression, we're encouraging a culture of violence and sexuality that's detrimental to both men and women.
Present-day American society-whether through pop culture, religion, or institutions-conflates sexuality and morality constantly. Idolizing virginity as a stand-in for women’s morality means that nothing else matters-not what we accomplish, not what we think, not what we care about and work for. Just if/how/whom we have sex with. That’s all.
The widely held belief that the heterosexual nuclear family is best for children has long been used as a smoke screen for homophobia and as a talking point to quash marriage-equality efforts.
Nah, I've always had a great relationship with my two brothers, I have always had their support in my football and in everything. They've been very close to me and we have a great relationship.
Twenty years of romance makes a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of marriage makes her something like a public building.
It never seems to occur to anybody that some women may not want to find husbands.
Much protective self-criticism stems from growing up around people who wouldn't or couldn't love you, and it's likely they still can't or won't. In general, however, the more you let go of the tedious delusion of your own unattractiveness, the easier it will be for others to connect with you, and the more accepted you'll feel.
'Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel.
Maybe times are never strange to women: it is just one continuous monotonous thing full of the repeated follies of their menfolks.
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