QuoteProject
When women's sexuality is imagined to be passive or "dirty," it also means that men's sexuality is automatically positioned as aggressive and right-no matter what form it takes. And when one of the conditions of masculinity, a concept that is already so fragile in men's minds, is that men dissociate from women and prove their manliness through aggression, we're encouraging a culture of violence and sexuality that's detrimental to both men and women.
Jessica Valenti
ShareWTF𝕏

Interpretation

What this quote means

The quote highlights how societal views on female sexuality affect male behavior, reinforcing harmful stereotypes about masculinity and sexuality.

Jessica Valenti's quote explores the harmful dynamics surrounding perceptions of women's and men's sexuality. By labeling women's sexuality as passive or 'dirty,' society simultaneously positions men's sexuality as aggressive and legitimate. This dangerous dichotomy pressures men to conform to a rigid standard of masculinity which often involves disassociating from women and demonstrating their value through aggression. Such cultural norms create an environment rife with violence and unhealthy sexuality, negatively impacting both genders.

Themes

SexualityMasculinityViolenceCultureRelationships

In practice

Example use cases

This quote can be used in a discussion about gender roles in modern society.

More from Jessica Valenti

Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather than your own script. It means that your self-worth will always be tied to what someone else thinks about you, forever out of your control.
Jessica ValentiRead
It's not always easy being a full-time feminist - especially as a young woman - when you're constantly being told that what you do is irrelevant. I'm on the defense all the time.
Jessica ValentiRead
Now, should we treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? Of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them.
Jessica ValentiRead
Sex for pleasure, for fun, or even for building relationships is completely absent from our national conversation. Yet taking the joy out of sexuality is a surefire way to ensure not that young women won't have sex, but rather that they'll have it without pleasure.
Jessica ValentiRead
Present-day American society-whether through pop culture, religion, or institutions-conflates sexuality and morality constantly. Idolizing virginity as a stand-in for women’s morality means that nothing else matters-not what we accomplish, not what we think, not what we care about and work for. Just if/how/whom we have sex with. That’s all.
Jessica ValentiRead
The widely held belief that the heterosexual nuclear family is best for children has long been used as a smoke screen for homophobia and as a talking point to quash marriage-equality efforts.
Jessica ValentiRead

Similar quotes

The Russians didn't invent partisan divides. The Russians haven't invented racism in the United States. But the Russians understand a lot of those divisions and they understand how to exploit them.
Fiona HillRead
The only relationship we can have in this life is the relationship we have with ourselves. We cannot love anybody more than we love ourselves. We cannot treat anyone any better than we treat ourselves. When you forget you, give up on you, or devalue yourself, anyone coming into your life has a universal responsibility to follow your lead.
Iyanla VanzantRead
Only when one is connected to one's own core is one connected to others, I am beginning to discover. And, for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be refound through solitude.
Anne Morrow LindberghRead
You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.
Frederick BuechnerRead
You have now reached infatuation’s final destination—the complete and merciless devaluation of self.
Elizabeth GilbertRead
As soon as I arrived I made an attempt to find my host but the two or three people of whom I asked his whereabouts stared at me in such an amazed way and denied so vehemently an knowledge of his movements that I slunk off in the direction of the cocktail table--the only place in the garden where a single man could linger without looking purposeless and alone.
F. Scott FitzgeraldRead

A little wisdom, now and then

Subscribe for the occasional hand-picked quote. No noise.