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When women's sexuality is imagined to be passive or "dirty," it also means that men's sexuality is automatically positioned as aggressive and right-no matter what form it takes. And when one of the conditions of masculinity, a concept that is already so fragile in men's minds, is that men dissociate from women and prove their manliness through aggression, we're encouraging a culture of violence and sexuality that's detrimental to both men and women.
Jessica Valenti
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Interpretation

What this quote means

The quote highlights how societal views on female sexuality affect male behavior, reinforcing harmful stereotypes about masculinity and sexuality.

Jessica Valenti's quote explores the harmful dynamics surrounding perceptions of women's and men's sexuality. By labeling women's sexuality as passive or 'dirty,' society simultaneously positions men's sexuality as aggressive and legitimate. This dangerous dichotomy pressures men to conform to a rigid standard of masculinity which often involves disassociating from women and demonstrating their value through aggression. Such cultural norms create an environment rife with violence and unhealthy sexuality, negatively impacting both genders.

Themes

SexualityMasculinityViolenceCultureRelationships

In practice

Example use cases

This quote can be used in a discussion about gender roles in modern society.

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It's not always easy being a full-time feminist - especially as a young woman - when you're constantly being told that what you do is irrelevant. I'm on the defense all the time.
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Now, should we treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? Of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them.
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Sex for pleasure, for fun, or even for building relationships is completely absent from our national conversation. Yet taking the joy out of sexuality is a surefire way to ensure not that young women won't have sex, but rather that they'll have it without pleasure.
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Present-day American society-whether through pop culture, religion, or institutions-conflates sexuality and morality constantly. Idolizing virginity as a stand-in for women’s morality means that nothing else matters-not what we accomplish, not what we think, not what we care about and work for. Just if/how/whom we have sex with. That’s all.
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The widely held belief that the heterosexual nuclear family is best for children has long been used as a smoke screen for homophobia and as a talking point to quash marriage-equality efforts.
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